Impressive Courtesy and Hospitality

When we are in a different culture, we usually feel impressive towards things that are in sharp contrast with those in our own culture. I'd like to introduce several things that deeply impress me during my past five weeks of staying here at Yale.

What comes first in my mind is the holding-door courtesy people show almost everywhere. No matter it's a girl or a boy, a lady or a gentleman, if they walk in front of you, and they open the door first, they would stay there, holding the door open for whoever following her or him, with themselves standing at the back of the door. I do not mean we don't hold door for others. We also hold doors for strangers, but we would lean our bodies to pop the door open with our bodies in the doorway, indicating "Anyway I would go in first". And when the one who is after us reaches out to hold the door, we would go into the building immediately, leaving those who are behind us there doing their own holding-door business. Sometimes those Yale people would hold door for us even we are still ten paces away! How strangely delighted I was whenever I felt I was paid respect to, for no reason at all - maybe the only reason is that I am a human being, a life. I learn to hold doors for others as well. Yeah, I also hold door for others back at home, but not for people ten paces away, nor for people to go in first. I do not want to say which one is the better way to show our politeness. I just want to say I am happy to see someone holding the door for me silently and patiently with a smile. That makes me feel dignified. Good feelings. And I shall try to honor other people in this way in the future.

Then I want to deliver my gratitude to those who have helped me in different ways in the USA those days. I have felt so much hospitality here that my Yale life has been an especially beautiful picture for me. On my first day here, I couldn't find my way to the house we were supposed to register, and I stopped to ask a boy who was riding a bike. He stopped to listen to me and said, "Sorry, I don't know either." Just when I was about to turn around, he said again, "But wait, I shall google it for you." He pulled his cellphone out from his pants pocket, and searched for the registration house for me immediately. I could only utter a pale "thank you", which would never be enough to show my gratitude!

Another time when three of us were looking for the teaching building where we were to observe classes - we didn't know then it was exactly at the back of our residential college. We walked for so long but failed to locate it. Just then a family went passing us. The father with his two daughters looked like a really gentleman, who we guess must be a teacher in this university, so we came up to him and asked about the location of the teaching building. To our disappointment, he replied, "I don't know." But even before we could say "thank you", he touched the screen of his cellphone, "I can google it for you." Oh I was deeply moved! While he touched the smartphone in some gentle and even graceful way, his wife and two daughters waited patiently and politely. No impatience. Nothing rude. It was not long before the father said, "I guess it is right here. It should be this or that building." With a polite and calm smile, he went with his wife and two children. Twenty days have passed, but I still remember his tall figure and his gentle manner of touching the screen cellphone and spoke in a soft and calm way to us.

The taxi-driver who gave me some discount is another one who made me feel the hospitality of people here. I had shared this experience with my teacher Siggy and my colleagues in the same class. That night I went back from New York City to New Haven, it was after nine o'clock at night. There wasn't any bus coming after I had waited for twenty minutes. I was not familiar with the CT bus transit schedule so I became nervous. At that time I didn't know about the night-minibus service yet, so I got on a taxi right in front of the Union Station. The bus driver was a black guy who was in some gaily mood. I felt embarrassed when I said I only remembered "the Green" as my destination, but he laughed and said, "Ok, I know it, the Green, isn't it?" 

I felt reassured a little bit. 

And he continued to ask, "Are you going to the Yale University or not?" 

"To Yale University."

"So I'll drive you into the university and you tell me when you are there."

"Ok. It's so nice of you."

His cab stopped right across the street to my dormitory college. The fare read 
7.20 bucks on the price screen. He laughed and said, "Seven is enough!" 

It was really a big surprise! I was about to pay eight bucks as I knew in the USA not only should I pay for the fare, but also some tip for the driver. It might not be appropriate for me to pay him 8 bucks now since he was being so generous! I thanked him and wanted to get off, but I tried in vain to open the door. He laughed again, "You just press the button on the door." In the dim light I finally managed to find the button. I pressed it. The door slide open. I felt embarrassed again. I got off and wanted to pull the door close. But it refused to move. The guy burst into loud laughter again. "Just leave it to me." Then he himself got off the cab and went around the rear of the cab. There was another button on the door. He pressed it and the door closed. I felt even embarrassed now. But he just laughed and waved goodbye to me, "Have a good night!"

"You too!" I replied, "Thank you very much!"

Later when I shared my experience in class, my classmates all got shocked because they felt it incredible. It was money that governed people here. How can they be so kind to a stranger and ask me to pay less?

"So you didn't give him tips?"

"No." I replied. "I didn't. For I feel he is being a favor-giver to me. It would be inappropriate for me to change my role from a favor-asker to a favor-giver." Of course I'm not sure whether I was right; what makes me comfortable and rest assured was that I didn't make him less happy that night.

God and Buddha and every deity I know, 
Please bless those people who have helped me;
May all of them healthy, wealthy, peaceful in mind and live a self-content life in this world.